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If you are native English speaker and good at written English, please help us proofread the website as none from our development team is native speaking person and I am sure I made a lot of mistakes.

Post any mistakes you find here with comments where are they.

Later when there will be a lot of them gathered I will fix them in one go.

Edited 26 minutes later by .
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Reply to

If you are native English speaker and good at written English, please help us proofread the website as none from our development team is native speaking person and I am sure I mada a lot of mistakes.

Post any mistakes you find here with comments where are they.

Later when there will be a lot of them gathered I will fix them in one go.

You just made one :), but I am sure is not from the lack of knowledge: '' I made a lot of mistakes''. BTW, how can I underline something?

Not a native British myself but I am working in UK since five years ago.

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From this page: http://www.totemtribe.com/game/about/#content

(I don't know how to do quotes here, so my edits are either commented below or in bold)

Is multiplayer one word? My spellchecker suggests no... For the moment I've left it as one word. You also use different spellings - pick either American English or British English, don't mix and match! (Ie. neighbour is British, but industrialization is American).

"This PC game is a bold mix of genres never mixed up like this before. It all started with a combination of casual strategy, adventure, puzzles, and hidden objects in the original Totem Tribe. With this new installment we are adding RPG elements into the mix, making strategy elements more serious, and finally bringing all of this into a massively multiplayer persistent game world. Sounds crazy enough? Read on!"

Generally you don't use the same word twice in a sentence.

"And if all those different game genres were not enough we are also going to do something brave with the setting. You start with a primitive tribe making their first village in the Stone Age but through research and development you can reach more advanced ages like Antiquity, Renaissance, Industrialization and finally Space Age (there are 9 different ages planned)! A picture of primitive tribesmen throwing stones at flying saucers would be quite possible. You are not obligated to do it though, if you want to play a nomadic horde that beats others by outnumbering - it is a viable choice too!"

"Who said that MMO strategy does not need a compelling story? Reincarnate yourself on the distant planet Teya in the role of a mysterious hero summoned from another time. You will face the tyrannous God-Emperors, and in the middle of confronting them you will find out about the lurking threat to existence of the whole of humanity. But remember, things are not what they look like in the first place."

"The nature of online strategy games is that they become more complicated to play as time goes by. The bigger your country / town / kingdom becomes, the harder it is to manage. Unfortunately, most such games usually don't give the player a clear and distinct goal to aim for, thus making game play endless and [deleted 'in the end'] it becomes your second job."

"In Totem Tribe II you can actually pick one of the 6 possible victory types and work your way towards it. You can reach Adventure, Science, Culture, Wealth, Expansion, or War Victory! And once you do it - you will beat the game! After you beat it - you can continue playing by restarting in the beginners' zone again with special completion bonuses. Or you can play the game like a sandbox without caring about those victories at all - it's up to you!"

"If you like to play hardcore - there will be rich multiplayer and PvP options at your disposal. You can start with confronting weaker neighbours in order to put a levy on them and end up in the big Alliance fighting for territory, or even a Coalition of Alliances that strives for world domination. Defensive Alliances are also possible, where players could join together and coordinate defenses to make their questing easier."

"But if you don't care about fighting other players and would like to enjoy steady expansion, trading, quests, or puzzles, you will feel right at home too. You can choose different sets of starting bonuses and drawbacks with one of them bringing beginner players a very serious defense buffer for the sacrifice of attack power. And you will keep that protection until you feel ready to interact with others, not after a small amount of time like one week."

"Topography is very important in Totem Tribe II - there are rivers and hills, seas and mountains, forests and lakes, and they are not just for scenery - all of them play an important role in the overall strategy. Building the town by the water will allow you to build boats and ships to access naval trade, transportation, and warfare. Different places on the map have different resources, towns near the mountains produce more stone while towns near the forest produce more lumber and so on. There are dozens of unique resources like silk, horses, or aluminium that are nice to have in your country. Finally - when you start the game you choose in what climate zone would you like to begin - ranging from arctic tundra to equatorial desert."

"A prospering country needs a good leader. You will be that leader! Not some superior deity overseeing your people from above (on your monitor), but an actual hero in the game, who can lead your troops in battle or stay in town to boost production. And the hero will have a personality - he or she can take part in non-linear conversations with other NPCs just like in RPG games, taking choices and making a difference. Finally, you can equip your hero with numerous artifacts you have found during your adventures!"

"But the game play is not limited to land. Later in the game you can build naval and aerial units. Sea trade is different than land trade - you can barter only with other port cities, but you can do so in much higher volume. You can also drop a landing party to the places unreachable by foot. With aerial stuff available even later, you can build units from scouting Air Balloons to the heavy Helicopters, from Biplanes to the futuristic Flying Saucers! Oh, and don't forget Nukes!"

"If you are an original Totem Tribe fan and things written above sounded too different from the first game, you don't need to worry. The initial concept will be heavily expanded, but the core things that made the first game fun to play will stay in its fullest! You will still have plenty of items to find, puzzles to solve, buildings to build and gems, shells, roots (pick the right one) to hate ;)"

"The game is still in development, but we are approaching alpha-test phase. If you like the concept, please consider supporting the game. We are a small indie game developer and need all the support we can get. Read more here about how can you help. Supporters will be the first ones who receive access to the closed alpha version."

Edited 1 minute later by .
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Thank you for helping out. I've made the changes you outlined so hopefully now it will not scare off native English speaking players.

As for the "multiplayer" and "gameplay" - those are commonly used words in the gaming community, but I can believe that it is not yet canonized by dictionaries and spell-checking software:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Multiplayer_video_game

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gameplay

Also could you please check donation page as well? I think that one is pretty important too.

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On Donations page..

"By supporting this game, you will also be able to collaborate with us, the developers, voicing out your opinions on game features or suggesting your own ones (delete the word 'ones'). Joining on (use the word 'at' here instead of 'on') such an early stage ..."

Edited 11 minutes later by . Reason: Bold edit requirements.
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Priority Access to the Closed Alpha

  Currently we are working on launching AN alpha version of the game...

Your Name or Nickname in Credits

  People who supported the game on (replace the word 'on' with 'in') it's early stage will have their name listed in THE credits.

All Donated Money Will Be Converted into Enkord Cash

Enkord Cash is the virtual currency that will be used by the game to purchase premium items via THE in-game shop. When you donate, you are basically pre-ordering Enkord Cash and will be able to spend it when you will (Delete the word 'will') access the game.

Special Achievement and Medal

In the game you will have A special achievement and medal...

You Could Have Yourself Immortalized

 Top 10 donators will have themselves in the game. We will have A special memorial...

Original Totem Tribe for Windows

  If you accumulate 10000 Enkord Cash by donation (roughly equivalent of $10), you will receive a free copy of THE original Totem Tribe game...

Think that's all.  Well done!  ;)

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Thanks a bunch! Already updated the text according to your fixes :)

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Reply to

Hi Berserker, don't forget this one...

On Donations page..

"By supporting this game, you will also be able to collaborate with us, the developers, voicing out (delete 'out') your opinions on game features or suggesting your own ones (delete the word 'ones'). Joining on (use the word 'at' here instead of 'on') such an early stage ..."

So it should read...

By supporting this game, you will also be able to collaborate with us, the developers, voicing your opinions on game features or suggesting your own.  Joining at such an early stage...

Edited 2 minutes later by . Reason: Add text.
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Ops, missed that one, thanks.

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Your english is pretty good Berserker. I'm not a grammar nazi type person though but sure, I'll help out. :)

I've spotted some on the front page in the 'scrolling' news window.

For the first window (website launch): 'We've came a long way' should be 'We've come a long way'

The third window (building upgrades): 'The new website is around the corner' For the second part, if you meant one surprise 'we will reveal the big surprise' or if you meant several surprises 'we will reveal some big surprises' also 'but for now, let me shed some light on building upgrades.'

@nana: 'multiplayer' is generally spelled as one word, so it's ok.

Edited 6 minutes later by .
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Reply to

@nana: 'multiplayer' is generally spelled as one word, so it's ok.

Thanks. I guess my English dictionary needs updating :)

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Hi again... I was just wondering if any decision has been made as to which type of English you were hoping to use? Thanks.

From this page: http://www.totemtribe.com/game/about/#content

... You also use different spellings - pick either American English or British English, don't mix and match! (Ie. neighbour is British, but industrialization is American).

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I think it is better to use American English since the website is aimed at international demographic.

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In Q on FAQ updates should only have one e?

This is for question on languages

Edited 2 minutes later by . Reason: Making more clear.
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Posted twice sorry

Edited 27 seconds later by . Reason: Posted twice.
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in FAQ about pausing the word disadvantage does not need the D on the end.
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In this question the word loose should be lose

Q: But what if a player is unable to access a computer because they are on holidays, doing exams etc?

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I put some edits that should have been here in the FAQ page sorry for that.

In the Question about Q: Can I change from single player to multiplayer mid-game, or do I have to wait until I restart at the beginning again?

I think it should read "but you will be able to choose how big of an impact they will have, and you will be able to change it while playing" removal of the word of between chose and how as well as spelling of choose.

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When you post mistakes a good idea is to copy whole question and them mark mistakes with bold text.

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Reply to

When you post mistakes a good idea is to copy whole question and them mark mistakes with bold text.

Got it. I also put some posts in the proofread forum where they should have been instead of here.

Edited 57 minutes later by .
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